Well, I caved. caved caved caved caved caved. such an awful word. and an awful feeling. I had my reasons for doing so, but I also have this twisty feeling in my stomach now. Ugh.
I'm talking about the latest decision related to grades. After the whole fiasco with the midterm Bs (a decision which I STILL support, by the way - regardless of the fact that it has caused me NO END OF GRIEF), I was worried about what I would do come quarter time (stick to my guns vs. give them all As). Because I knew that people would be less inclined to worry about a B at midterm than a B at quarter. Midterm grades don't count. Anyway, my mom said "don't worry, you'll know a couple of days before grades are due when your principal comes to you and tells you in no uncertain vague terms what he wants you to do."
And boy was she right! He came to me the other day and started talking about how he believes that all students should be able to earn an A and how he was glad that I have standards, but they can't be TOO high, and that if I were staying on next year, he would definitely encourage me to stick to my guns and really raise the standards for music, but did I want to be plagued by parents for the last nine weeks that I taught here? and he would NEVER tell a teacher how to grade or to change a grade, but he wasn't going to restrict parental access to me during Parent-Teacher conferences, and I should just think about those things.
So I did. And I came to the following conclusion: It is not worth my time and energy to fight this fight when I will not be returning next year. My ONE semester of high standards will mean nothing when compared to all the other semesters of teachers coddling and babying the little darlings. Of course SAYING that does not take away the sick feeling in my stomach, because I believe a person should have standards and stick to them, no matter how long they will be in a situation. But, I think I made the only decision I could. For one, I did see MAJOR improvement in all my students after midterm grades went out. So, maybe I won a little part of that battle. For two, I only see these kids once a week. That's really not time to establish a pattern of behavior (heck, I still have trouble remembering all their names!). And for three, I will still hold them to that standard during my class, and I think that they know it.
Have I justified the decision to cave well enough?
15 March 2007
08 March 2007
Happy Birthday!
Well, it just occurred to me (as I am putting off getting ready for work tomorrow) that I have passed the one year mark for my blog.
yes, that's right. My blog is ONE YEAR OLD!
Just think, you've been reading all of my useless drivel for a year. Now how does that make you feel?
:-D Happy Birthday, Blog.
yes, that's right. My blog is ONE YEAR OLD!
Just think, you've been reading all of my useless drivel for a year. Now how does that make you feel?
:-D Happy Birthday, Blog.
"Tactical Crouch"
I was going to start this post with something like "you may not know this, but.." but given that all 7.5 of my readers have either known me for at least 5 years and/or are related to me, I realized it would just end up making me look stupid. So, I've changed the beginning.
You probably know this already, but I'm going to tell you anyway.
My brother, whom I love and adore is called Joe. As in G.I. This name was given to him by a family friend who could not pronounce his given name. (and, in the spirit of The Neverending Story, and also a small measure of Hopeful Delusions that Someone Not Related to Me is Reading This, I'm going to let you guess at his given name.) Anyway, the name stuck and is completely appropriate, because Joe is currently a part of Army ROTC. And he loves it. Everything about it. The physical stuff (18.7 mile ruck march in under 5 hours? Bring it.) The thinking aspect ("So then I had my team split in half and we covered the area and....") and yes, of course, the BLOWING UP OF THINGS ("dude, today we learned how to use nylons and hair gel to blow up an enemy tank").
Not a day goes by that I don't hear some story about who blew up what or what The Major did way back when. (The Major, by the way, is akin to Hercules.) What's nice about this scenario, is that Joe is very good at this ROTC thing. He is excelling at it. They get graded on various aspects of the things they do. It's a pretty interesting grading system: E = Excelling. N = Needs Improvement, and a few others, I think. He's learning information that we mere mortals could not handle knowing (seriously, our brains might explode) and he's developing habits which would not occur to we lowly civilians to develop. Enter the "Tactical Crouch" and the following story:
Our story begins last night around 9 pm. I had convinced Joe to go for a walk with me and my dog. It wasn't hard to convince him, because he doesn't like me walking around by myself after dark. Sweet, huh? Anyway, we went walking. Diesel and Me, Joe and Achilles (his hound dog, who, incidentally is my dog's brother). We were walking through our neighborhood and paid no attention to a car that went past us. Until.
POW POW
My reaction: Whoa! Scary sounds! (N for assessing)
Joe's reaction: Tactical Crouch.* (E for assessing, N for loyalty)
Me: What are you...oh! were those gun shots?
Joe: yep, it was a pistol.
Car: pulling ever so slowly and nonchalantly down the road. (N for not realizing that they should be DRIVING FASTER!!!!)
Neighbors: What the....?
Me: We need to call 911
Joe: Huh? Oh, yeah.
Me: do you know what kind of car it was?
Joe: yep it was a late 80s, early 90s corolla or civic. white. (E for observation)
Me: Awe and shock at his observation skills.
911: ok, we'll send someone.
10 minutes later: Way cool Helicopter shows up on search pattern. Police cruiser follows shortly.
Neighbor: look I found the shells. (E for finding things)
Cop: There was another shooting matching this description just a few minutes ago.
5 minutes later
Me: So, I guess you won't be letting me walk by myself at night ever again, huh? (E for predicting the future)
Joe: Nope.
So, yeah. weird scary incident, huh? It's a good thing Joe was there, because I never would have even thought it was gun shots...I would have assumed it was a noise maker of some kind. In fact, I did assume that very thing until they found the empty shells. Good thing Joe was there.
* Note: The "Tactical Crouch" was not accompanied by screaming, crying or pleading of any kind. Nor did he try to hide behind me or the dog. Nor did he try to push me in the way of the bullets. However, he did not try to protect me, which is where the LOYALTY issue comes in.
To be fair, he was a pretty upset about not protecting me, but then, in the most amazing bout of turnabout I've ever seen, he managed to make it not only NOT his fault, but the Army's fault and My fault as well. Observe:
Joe: I'm sorry I didn't protect you.
Me: Whatever
Joe: Well, I was trained that when you hear gun shots, you move. Don't just stand there. So, I dropped into a tactical crouch. It's not my fault. Blame the army.
Me: tactical crouch?!
Joe: You should have done it too. It's not my fault you didn't.
Me: ...
Joe gets an E for "Deflecting the Blame."
Go Army.
Seriously though, God Bless our Troops. And thank you.
You probably know this already, but I'm going to tell you anyway.
My brother, whom I love and adore is called Joe. As in G.I. This name was given to him by a family friend who could not pronounce his given name. (and, in the spirit of The Neverending Story, and also a small measure of Hopeful Delusions that Someone Not Related to Me is Reading This, I'm going to let you guess at his given name.) Anyway, the name stuck and is completely appropriate, because Joe is currently a part of Army ROTC. And he loves it. Everything about it. The physical stuff (18.7 mile ruck march in under 5 hours? Bring it.) The thinking aspect ("So then I had my team split in half and we covered the area and....") and yes, of course, the BLOWING UP OF THINGS ("dude, today we learned how to use nylons and hair gel to blow up an enemy tank").
Not a day goes by that I don't hear some story about who blew up what or what The Major did way back when. (The Major, by the way, is akin to Hercules.) What's nice about this scenario, is that Joe is very good at this ROTC thing. He is excelling at it. They get graded on various aspects of the things they do. It's a pretty interesting grading system: E = Excelling. N = Needs Improvement, and a few others, I think. He's learning information that we mere mortals could not handle knowing (seriously, our brains might explode) and he's developing habits which would not occur to we lowly civilians to develop. Enter the "Tactical Crouch" and the following story:
Our story begins last night around 9 pm. I had convinced Joe to go for a walk with me and my dog. It wasn't hard to convince him, because he doesn't like me walking around by myself after dark. Sweet, huh? Anyway, we went walking. Diesel and Me, Joe and Achilles (his hound dog, who, incidentally is my dog's brother). We were walking through our neighborhood and paid no attention to a car that went past us. Until.
POW POW
My reaction: Whoa! Scary sounds! (N for assessing)
Joe's reaction: Tactical Crouch.* (E for assessing, N for loyalty)
Me: What are you...oh! were those gun shots?
Joe: yep, it was a pistol.
Car: pulling ever so slowly and nonchalantly down the road. (N for not realizing that they should be DRIVING FASTER!!!!)
Neighbors: What the....?
Me: We need to call 911
Joe: Huh? Oh, yeah.
Me: do you know what kind of car it was?
Joe: yep it was a late 80s, early 90s corolla or civic. white. (E for observation)
Me: Awe and shock at his observation skills.
911: ok, we'll send someone.
10 minutes later: Way cool Helicopter shows up on search pattern. Police cruiser follows shortly.
Neighbor: look I found the shells. (E for finding things)
Cop: There was another shooting matching this description just a few minutes ago.
5 minutes later
Me: So, I guess you won't be letting me walk by myself at night ever again, huh? (E for predicting the future)
Joe: Nope.
So, yeah. weird scary incident, huh? It's a good thing Joe was there, because I never would have even thought it was gun shots...I would have assumed it was a noise maker of some kind. In fact, I did assume that very thing until they found the empty shells. Good thing Joe was there.
* Note: The "Tactical Crouch" was not accompanied by screaming, crying or pleading of any kind. Nor did he try to hide behind me or the dog. Nor did he try to push me in the way of the bullets. However, he did not try to protect me, which is where the LOYALTY issue comes in.
To be fair, he was a pretty upset about not protecting me, but then, in the most amazing bout of turnabout I've ever seen, he managed to make it not only NOT his fault, but the Army's fault and My fault as well. Observe:
Joe: I'm sorry I didn't protect you.
Me: Whatever
Joe: Well, I was trained that when you hear gun shots, you move. Don't just stand there. So, I dropped into a tactical crouch. It's not my fault. Blame the army.
Me: tactical crouch?!
Joe: You should have done it too. It's not my fault you didn't.
Me: ...
Joe gets an E for "Deflecting the Blame."
Go Army.
Seriously though, God Bless our Troops. And thank you.
04 March 2007
update
Well, I did it. I finally made the decision that has been plaguing me for at least a month. I have decided not to return to my school next year. When I started this job, I believed it to be merely temporary (until the previous teacher returned from maternity leave). Then, I got the "are you going to be coming back next year" letter, and I realized that she wasn't returning. By that point, I had already figured out that I do not enjoy teaching general music and I also do not enjoy teaching elementary (which is 2/5 of my job). I also discovered that I do not think it is right to require all students to take music. Especially not at the middle school level. I think that by the time they hit 6th grade, they have the right to decide if they want to study music.
But, at the same time I was figuring out all of this, I was really starting to enjoy the school atmosphere...it's small, cozy, close-knit and the parents really seem to care about their students.
I was having a hard time making a decision until I realized one thing: you can like your co-workers and the work environment, but if you do not like what you are doing, you will never be happy or fulfilled. So, I decided to decline to return.
Now I have to hunt for a new job. sigh.
Does anybody know how I can do job interviews without actually taking time off of work for it?
On a completely unrelated note, any prayers you wish to say for me would be greatly appreciated.
But, at the same time I was figuring out all of this, I was really starting to enjoy the school atmosphere...it's small, cozy, close-knit and the parents really seem to care about their students.
I was having a hard time making a decision until I realized one thing: you can like your co-workers and the work environment, but if you do not like what you are doing, you will never be happy or fulfilled. So, I decided to decline to return.
Now I have to hunt for a new job. sigh.
Does anybody know how I can do job interviews without actually taking time off of work for it?
On a completely unrelated note, any prayers you wish to say for me would be greatly appreciated.
01 March 2007
Conversations with 3rd graders
"Mrs. S?"
"Ok class, let's talk about the difference between 'Miss' and 'Mrs.' Who knows what it is?"
"'Mrs.' means you're married"
"That's right."
"And 'Miss' means you're not."
"That's right. Nick?"
"'Miss can also mean that you're divorced."
"That's true, Nick, but in that case you'd write it like this: Ms."
"I know why there's no 'R'. It's cuz there's no 'Mr.' any more."
"That's....right... Ok, so which am I?"
"You're 'Miss'"
"That's right. Am I wearing a wedding ring?"
"No."
"So that means..."
"You're not married."
"Miss S, are you still in college?"
"No, I graduated in December."
"Are you ever gonna get married?"
"...well, it takes two people to get married and right now there's only me. I guess I haven't met him yet. Yes, Mike?"
"All you gotta do is meet a guy who isn't crazy or dirty. Or poor."
"Yeah, you don't want to marry a hobo."
".... alright, who can tell me where a 'G' goes on the staff?"
"Ok class, let's talk about the difference between 'Miss' and 'Mrs.' Who knows what it is?"
"'Mrs.' means you're married"
"That's right."
"And 'Miss' means you're not."
"That's right. Nick?"
"'Miss can also mean that you're divorced."
"That's true, Nick, but in that case you'd write it like this: Ms."
"I know why there's no 'R'. It's cuz there's no 'Mr.' any more."
"That's....right... Ok, so which am I?"
"You're 'Miss'"
"That's right. Am I wearing a wedding ring?"
"No."
"So that means..."
"You're not married."
"Miss S, are you still in college?"
"No, I graduated in December."
"Are you ever gonna get married?"
"...well, it takes two people to get married and right now there's only me. I guess I haven't met him yet. Yes, Mike?"
"All you gotta do is meet a guy who isn't crazy or dirty. Or poor."
"Yeah, you don't want to marry a hobo."
".... alright, who can tell me where a 'G' goes on the staff?"
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