SBVD

Today a kid ripped one off in the middle of beginning band. Apparently it was SBVD. It was like a giant, silent explosion. As if a bomb hit smack in the middle of the band; students went flying away from the radius, holding their noses and gagging and laughing at the same time, whilst the culprit sat in the center, with watery eyes and a proud grin on his face. And that got me to thinking. Do I write him up for it? He did say "excuse me", but it is undesirable behavior. Do I call mom? Can you imagine that conversation?

Me: Hi, Mrs. Mom of Farting Student. I'm calling because your son farted ("cut the cheese" would probably not be appropriate in this case...) during class today.
Mom: uhh...
Me: yeah, do you think you could modify his diet so it doesn't happen again? Also, please punish him at home for it.


yeah, I'm not sure it would fly.

Sometimes I get tired of discipline, so I ignore stupid things so I don't have to deal with it.

Also, sometimes it is REALLY hard to keep a straight face. I mean, I find farts funny too. Why can't I laugh? Oh right, cuz I'm the adult or something. Which means, kids aren't allowed to know I find it funny. But trust me, I DID keep a straight face. Although I think that if I didn't have amazing control over my facial muscles from playing horn for the last 14 years, I would have failed.

Does that make me a bad teacher?

Taller = Waaaay Older?

So, today I changed the background on my work computer from this:
To This:
One of my students saw it and the following DAY long circus took place. (Either I am waaaaay to nice or they are waaaaay too bored, but they are waaaaay to interested in my personal life).

Student: "Miss, is that your Dad?" (apparently, they are still at the age where height=age. hence the title.)
Me: No, that's my fiance.
Student: Dang! he's tall!
Students (yes, plural): who? let me see! what are you talking about? DANG Miss! He's TALL!!!
Me: Yeah, but keep in mind, I'm fairly short.
Different Student: Miss, when you kiss at your wedding, is he going to have to pick you up or something?
Me: thinking - I don't want to have this conversation! No. Come on, guys, think! I'll be wearing heels, and stand on my tiptoes and he'll lean down a bit. We'll be fine.
Student: why don't you just stand on a box?
Me: I AM NOT standing on a box at my wedding!

Which of course then sparked the usual round of "whens and wheres and can we play at its" - I've gotten very good at sidestepping these, by the way. And apparently, the Jazz Band then went and shared the above info because as every class after them walked in, they craned their necks to see if they could see the picture on my desktop and see how FREAKISHLY (sorry Red!) tall he is compared to me, because they are, after all, middle schoolers and nobody wants to be a leader and actually ASK to see the picture, but they all want to see it, so they get neck injuries and stub their toes as they walk past until SOMEONE (anyone?) is brave enough to actually ask to see the picture and then they all gather around like vultures descending on some hapless, dehydrated rabbit.