On Sunday, my preacher beat me up. He stepped on my toes, kicked me in the shins and bruised my ego. In short, he gave me a much needed kick in the pants. The topic could have had many titles: Diligence vs. Slothfulness; Living Your Life
on Purpose (because you were created
for a purpose); Stop Being Lazy and Do What You're Supposed to Do. You know, something along those lines.
His text was 5 simple verses we've all heard preached dozens of times - Proverbs 6:6-11
"Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,
Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.
How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?
Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:
So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man."
I won't try to reiterate the whole sermon. You can listen to it here (eventually) and I highly suggest you do, but here are the main points.
1. We show our gratitude to God for the things He has given us by taking care of those things.
2. God is not pleased with sloth or laziness.
3. Sloth and laziness WILL result in poverty.
4. Sloth affects your physical body - you choose to be lazy and not do anything, then, because you aren't doing anything, you become too tired to do anything and it just keeps spiraling downward. Like when you sleep in too long and you just feel more tired, so you sleep more, but you just feel more tired.
Proverbs 19:15 "Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep: and an idle soul shall suffer hunger." (notice the "and". These two ideas not only agree, but the second is the result of the first.)
Proverbs 19:24 "A slothful man hideth his hand in his bosom, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again."
5. You will make excuses to justify your laziness (to yourself and others) and eventually, the excuse will be so outlandish that no one will believe you at all. And then you'll have lost the faith of your family and friends and boss, etc.
Proverbs 22:13 "The slothful man saith, There is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets."
6. If you are diligent and do what you're supposed to do, you WILL* have enough.
Proverbs 20:13 "Love not sleep, let thou some to poverty: Open thine eyes and thou shalt be satisfied with bread."
Proverbs 12:24 "The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute."
So now, back to me. I have known for awhile now that I have been very slothful when it comes to my job as a keeper at home and wife. Instead, I have been letting myself get consumed and overwhelmed by my worldly job - the hours, the driving distance and time, the cranky people, the stretches of mind-numbing boredom - they all add up to give me really lovely excuses about why I am shirking my
real responsibilities.
At first it was "I'm just not used to this schedule. I'm too tired for chores right now. I'll do them later."
Then it was "I
need to sleep in. I can't operate on [insert # of hours here] of sleep. I won't be any good to anybody. Besides, who does it really affect if the dishes and laundry aren't done? No one but Paul and me. and we're adults. We can manage."
*Side Note: Remember that spiral of lazy-no work-lazy? I think that the hours of boredom - of idleness - at work do contribute to my overall attitude about, and acceptance of, sloth. When you spend the majority of your day being idle - not working or accomplishing anything or being productive - it sucks out your energy and just perpetuates that cycle, even after you get home and have the chance to do work. God created us to work. When we don't, things (physical, mental, emotional) get bad.
Then it morphed into "I know I should do this, but I just don't want to."
And now it's....not even a question. I do chores when I HAVE to. I sleep in as much as possible and when I get home from work, I sit on the couch until bed time. No excuses needed.
See the selfishness? The pride? The ME? I should have been thanking God for all His many blessings. I should have been thanking my husband for being such a great provider. I should have been doing what the Lord created me to do. Instead, I pushed aside the guilt and made myself the most important thing. Maybe I could have avoided adding 'hypocrite' to the list if I had been honest about what I was doing. If I had just looked at Paul and said "I'm sorry. I'm more important than you or your comfort. I'll meet my desires, and if I have energy left, of if it becomes a
real necessity, then I'll do stuff for you." Instead, I tried to make myself feel better about not being a good helpmeet by complaining about not being a good helpmeet.
"it's my job - I just don't have time to vacuum more than once a year."
"I know I should get this done, but I'm just so tired!"
"I should take better care of you. I'm sorry I'm such a horrible wife!"
And, amazing man that he is, he never once condemned me for not doing my job. He just kept on loving me and sacrificing for me and telling me how wonderful I am. Truly the epitome of the Ephesians 5 husband!
And so all of this laziness and hypocrisy and guilt just kept building up and I felt depressed and out of control and WHATDOIDO?
And then came Sunday. The Kick in the Pants. My "aha!" Moment. My "Duh! How did I possibly not know this?!". Call it what you want, it happened. I feel SO much better! I now have a goal and a purpose. I am resolved to be diligent and not slothful. To be grateful to God for what He's given me. To show my gratitude by taking care of things and fulfilling the responsibilities He's set upon me. I am going to cultivate good habits now so that I can pass them on to my children (and so I don't feel like a fraud when I insist they get busy and do their chores). I am going to be ACTIVE. To paraphrase, I'm going to happen to life, rather than let life happen to me. I am going to live on purpose, for the purpose for which I was created.
So, what will my new-found diligence entail? Well, for one thing, it takes 21 days to form a good habit (and about 21 seconds to break it), so that's my first mini-goal. See what I look like in 21 days, reassess and keep working at it. Secondly, there are some slothful habits I have now that I need to identify, target and destroy. I need to be aware when I'm falling back into them and make a concerted effort to replace them with better habits.
They are (in no particular order):
- going back to bed after Paul leaves for work (but, I'm so sleeeeeepy!)
- being late for work (it takes more than 20 minutes to drive 25 miles)
- not getting up with my alarm (possibly contributes to the being late?)
- "I can do that later" (I can, but I won't)
- sitting down on the couch as soon as I get home (I'll just rest for a bit)
I'm sure there are more, but I think this is enough for now. The point of this is to change my life, not get mired down in how sinful and depraved I am.
Instead, I will:
- Stay awake after he leaves and find SOMETHING to do around the house.
- Leave for work at 9:00. This gives me 45 minutes to get there.
- Negated by the first one. If I get up with Paul's alarm, I don't have to set my own!
- "I will do it now. It won't take that long and then I don't have to do it later."
- I will put my stuff away and then find chores to do. Dishwasher, laundry, etc.
And, on that note, I guess this post is coming to an end. I have my goals and am eager to implement them. I know it won't be easy, but by the grace of God, I will be a better person. And maybe one day, I'll be the person God created me to be. I'm going to do daily updates about my progress. Hopefully, by being able to see my progress, it will encourage me to keep trying. Pray for me!
And hold on to your seats. We're about to get very sequiturous in here!
