April Showers and May Showers and

June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January, February and March Showers.



I HATE taking showers. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the result of showers. But I really hate taking them.

It's so much work. First you have to set the water temperature. Then undress, brush out your hair, get in, shampoo your hair, soap everything, rinse out your hair, put in conditioner, shave (and if you are also shaving your legs, this could take a long time...depending on how long it has been since you last shaved - yesterday, thank you very much!), then rinse out your hair, and wash your face. You turn off the water, but are you done? NO!
Now you have to step out of the shower into a hot and humid bathroom, DRY off (ugh!), put on lotion, put on your jammies, wash off any makeup that survived the face wash, comb out your hair and if you go that far, blow it dry. sigh.

I really wish there were a way to just snap your fingers and go to the results show. Like American Idol, but without Tuesdays. Just let me know who's been voted off already. I just wanna be clean. Is that too much to ask?

Is it?

You never get out of sixth grade

Don't believe me? Ok, then take the following test:

Directions: Read the following words and answer the question at the end.

butt
poop
fart
booger
uranus
wenus (sp?)

1. True or False. I laughed, chuckled, chortled, giggled, snickered, guffawed and/or smirked at one or all of the above listed words.

See what I mean? You never get out of sixth grade. This is especially true when one is, in fact, a sixth grade teacher. Allow me to illustrate.

I was in my classroom, painting it. Phillip was helping. We had the following conversation:
Phillip: Jacqueline, can I poop on your board?
Me: Um. I guess. As long as you keep it neat.
Phillip: Ok, I pooped on your board.

I turned around and he had written the word "poop" on one of my white boards. We giggled, went back to painting and a few hours later had forgotten all about it and in walks my principal, her husband, and the office manager. Not sure if they saw it; they didn't say anything if they did. But it reminded us.
"Time to get the poop off the board, " I said.

So we scrubbed, and we scrubbed. And nothing worked! The poop got a little fainter, but it was still stubbornly clinging to the board. We scrubbed some more, and eventually, we got it to the point that you can no longer see the word - just a big mess.

Help! I have a giant poop stain on my board and I can't get it off!!