Tonight I played a concert. Not unusual for me, true, but bear with me. I have a point. The concert was long and grueling - 2 hours of Sousa marches and pop music. Normally, I have someone else playing my part and we spell each other so we don't have to play each and every off beat. He was not there tonight. (lame. what's in Boston, anyway?) So, I played the part myself. And I did pretty darn good, too! (I don't care what Jane Doe might think about it. and don't get me started on her right now. That's a gripe session for another post.) Anyway, back to the point. I did well, but given my lip injury of Monday and the fact that I don't usually play the whole thing, my lips were SORE after the concert (still are.)
So, Phil and I went to IHOP after the concert and I started icing my lip. We got up to leave and the following conversation took place at the cash register:
cashier (a girl): your total is $25.25
Phil: pays (don't worry, I gave him cash for my half earlier)
Me: Man, my lip REALLY hurts. You've got to stop beating me, Phil. Seriously.
Cashier: *nervous look* *thought bubble appears reading "is she serious? No, she can't be. But what if...."
Phil (as we're walking away): Well, if you'd just do what you're told.....
Man, I hope she knows we were joking.
30 September 2007
25 September 2007
me vs. chair
Well, it must be that time of the year. You know, the time for my yearly battle with my clumsiness. I'd been doing pretty well at controlling it, but it got free again tonight and that makes me fear for not only my own safety, the the safety of others as well.
Tonight's battle was fought in a band room. I was helping to set up the chairs for rehearsal. I went over to the chair rack on which the chairs were stacked right about eye level. I grabbed two and began to pull them from the rack. And then, evidently because I am WAY stronger than I think, I smacked myself square in the lip with those stupid chairs.
And then I had to go and play a REALLY grueling 2 hour rehearsal. (you know you are truly a brass player when you would rather break a leg, lose an eye, or get kicked in the groin than to get hit in the mouth.)
Me: 0
Clumsiness: 1
sigh.
Tonight's battle was fought in a band room. I was helping to set up the chairs for rehearsal. I went over to the chair rack on which the chairs were stacked right about eye level. I grabbed two and began to pull them from the rack. And then, evidently because I am WAY stronger than I think, I smacked myself square in the lip with those stupid chairs.
And then I had to go and play a REALLY grueling 2 hour rehearsal. (you know you are truly a brass player when you would rather break a leg, lose an eye, or get kicked in the groin than to get hit in the mouth.)
Me: 0
Clumsiness: 1
sigh.
I exercise because....
Until the other day I hadn't found a truly good reason to exercise. Some of the lame-o ones were:
1. health (health schmealth!)
2. fitness (whatever)
3. to look good (um, I teach MIDDLE SCHOOL. why do I need to look good?)
4. to lose weight (that only bothers me at that time of the month)
But the other day, someone said something that makes a LOT of sense to me.
She said "I exercise because I love to eat. It may sound stupid, but when you exercise you can eat whatever you want."
And that, for me, became a reason to get motivated. See, I have never gone on a diet because 1) my headaches get REALLY bad when I don't eat and 2) I really LOVE to eat. Food is SO good. All kinds of food. There is very little food that I don't like. I could live the rest of my life eating Mexican Food and be perfectly happy. Throw in a little Italian now and then, some Mediterranean every once in a while, some Asian....heck! give me all kinds (except Borscht. Not sure I could eat that.) and I would be the happiest person in the world. So now, I have a reason to exercise. FOOD! (yay!)
To that end, I have set up some goals to try to reach as I enter this food-motivated exercise plan (wow, I sound like a dog...food motivation...):
20 lbs lighter by January 31, 2008.
In bed by 10 PM every night. (um, am I allowed to change this to 10:30?)
Eat breakfast every day. (so far, this only works if breakfast and lunch are the same meal).
Exercise at least 5 days a week. (how's about 2-3? is that ok too?)
So far, not so good on progress, but at least I'm trying!!!
1. health (health schmealth!)
2. fitness (whatever)
3. to look good (um, I teach MIDDLE SCHOOL. why do I need to look good?)
4. to lose weight (that only bothers me at that time of the month)
But the other day, someone said something that makes a LOT of sense to me.
She said "I exercise because I love to eat. It may sound stupid, but when you exercise you can eat whatever you want."
And that, for me, became a reason to get motivated. See, I have never gone on a diet because 1) my headaches get REALLY bad when I don't eat and 2) I really LOVE to eat. Food is SO good. All kinds of food. There is very little food that I don't like. I could live the rest of my life eating Mexican Food and be perfectly happy. Throw in a little Italian now and then, some Mediterranean every once in a while, some Asian....heck! give me all kinds (except Borscht. Not sure I could eat that.) and I would be the happiest person in the world. So now, I have a reason to exercise. FOOD! (yay!)
To that end, I have set up some goals to try to reach as I enter this food-motivated exercise plan (wow, I sound like a dog...food motivation...):
20 lbs lighter by January 31, 2008.
In bed by 10 PM every night. (um, am I allowed to change this to 10:30?)
Eat breakfast every day. (so far, this only works if breakfast and lunch are the same meal).
Exercise at least 5 days a week. (how's about 2-3? is that ok too?)
So far, not so good on progress, but at least I'm trying!!!
12 September 2007
Today on "Hi! I'm an inconsiderate pain in the keister!"
Today on "Hi! I'm an inconsiderate pain in the keister!" we meet with Phil. Phil is an older gentleman, clad in jeans and a denim shirt, who has been waiting at the clinic for half an hour. Let's find out what he has to say on the subject.
Phil, can you tell us what's been going on?
"Well, I've been waiting here at this clinic for a half an hour now."
It's 8:15 right now, Phil. Can you tell us what time the clinic opens?
"Well, the sign on the door says it opens at 8:30, but the doors are unlocked and I've been waiting for a half an hour now."
Phil, did you see the sign that says that the LAB opens at 7 AM?
"Well, I did see that sign, but like I said, I've been waiting for half an hour now and nobody is around."
Uh Phil, did you go and see if you can find anyone?
"Well, I did ask some people waiting in the waiting room, but they were morons and didn't know anything."
What about staff, Phil?
"Well, someone finally came out and I asked her if she knew where the front desk staff was, but she gave me some cockamaimie story about only working for the Lab. But I told her that I've been waiting for a half an hour now, so she said she'd try to find someone. And then I told her it would be nice if they would put up signs when they are in meetings, even though I read the sign that says they don't open until 8:30. I mean, I've been waiting for a half an hour now."
What finally happened, Phil?
"Well, after waiting for a half an hour now, someone finally came out and asked what I needed. I told her that I was supposed to pick up some records last night but I didn't make it in and would she please get them for me now. I also made it clear that it would be nice if they posted signs because I've been waiting for a half an hour now."
Well, there you have it folks, one man being forced to wait while inconsiderate clinic staff laze about in a morning meeting. This reporter believes that they definitely need larger signs regarding opening and meeting times. Back to you, John.
Phil, can you tell us what's been going on?
"Well, I've been waiting here at this clinic for a half an hour now."
It's 8:15 right now, Phil. Can you tell us what time the clinic opens?
"Well, the sign on the door says it opens at 8:30, but the doors are unlocked and I've been waiting for a half an hour now."
Phil, did you see the sign that says that the LAB opens at 7 AM?
"Well, I did see that sign, but like I said, I've been waiting for half an hour now and nobody is around."
Uh Phil, did you go and see if you can find anyone?
"Well, I did ask some people waiting in the waiting room, but they were morons and didn't know anything."
What about staff, Phil?
"Well, someone finally came out and I asked her if she knew where the front desk staff was, but she gave me some cockamaimie story about only working for the Lab. But I told her that I've been waiting for a half an hour now, so she said she'd try to find someone. And then I told her it would be nice if they would put up signs when they are in meetings, even though I read the sign that says they don't open until 8:30. I mean, I've been waiting for a half an hour now."
What finally happened, Phil?
"Well, after waiting for a half an hour now, someone finally came out and asked what I needed. I told her that I was supposed to pick up some records last night but I didn't make it in and would she please get them for me now. I also made it clear that it would be nice if they posted signs because I've been waiting for a half an hour now."
Well, there you have it folks, one man being forced to wait while inconsiderate clinic staff laze about in a morning meeting. This reporter believes that they definitely need larger signs regarding opening and meeting times. Back to you, John.
08 September 2007
things you didn't know you didn't know
I got tagged with this one by my sister:
The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. In my mind, numbers, the alphabet, music notes, and time are displayed on a path....the path winds around and goes through light and dark patches. Each digit has it's own place and is always where it's supposed to be and each digit is a different shade of dark and light. They are not displayed on the same path (that is, numbers have a different path from letters, etc) and each path is different and unique. When it comes to numbers I don't see individual numbers after 100. Instead I see blocks of a hundred which can then be expanded to individual digits if need be. Music notes are displayed on the staff, but they do not go in straight line on the staff...they curve around.
2. I see some people in colors not related to "people colors". For example, I went to school with a guy who I saw as purple. This is a very rare thing.
3. When it comes to things or events affecting only me, I am a procrastinator and I am rarely organized or on time. When it comes to things or events affecting other people, I am always early, always have my stuff and never procrastinate. That's why people think I have my act together.
4. I have used my horn as the basket for Tennis Ball Basketball.
5. I have hobbit feet. They are flat, wide, the toes are short and if I don't shave them, they are hairy.
6. My brother can walk a mile faster than I can run one.
7. I fully intend to marry Jarod.
8. I want a polydactyl calico cat to be named Quigley. Here's why: Polydactyl cats are cool cuz they look like they are wearing mittens. A Calico cat will be cool cuz it will match Diesel. And it will be named Quigley because a) I really like the movie and 2) Quigley sounds like a cat name. You try. "Quigley! Here kitty kitty!" See?
My tagees are: femaleparadox and well, that's it cuz my sister took everybody else that I know. sigh.
The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. In my mind, numbers, the alphabet, music notes, and time are displayed on a path....the path winds around and goes through light and dark patches. Each digit has it's own place and is always where it's supposed to be and each digit is a different shade of dark and light. They are not displayed on the same path (that is, numbers have a different path from letters, etc) and each path is different and unique. When it comes to numbers I don't see individual numbers after 100. Instead I see blocks of a hundred which can then be expanded to individual digits if need be. Music notes are displayed on the staff, but they do not go in straight line on the staff...they curve around.
2. I see some people in colors not related to "people colors". For example, I went to school with a guy who I saw as purple. This is a very rare thing.
3. When it comes to things or events affecting only me, I am a procrastinator and I am rarely organized or on time. When it comes to things or events affecting other people, I am always early, always have my stuff and never procrastinate. That's why people think I have my act together.
4. I have used my horn as the basket for Tennis Ball Basketball.
5. I have hobbit feet. They are flat, wide, the toes are short and if I don't shave them, they are hairy.
6. My brother can walk a mile faster than I can run one.
7. I fully intend to marry Jarod.
8. I want a polydactyl calico cat to be named Quigley. Here's why: Polydactyl cats are cool cuz they look like they are wearing mittens. A Calico cat will be cool cuz it will match Diesel. And it will be named Quigley because a) I really like the movie and 2) Quigley sounds like a cat name. You try. "Quigley! Here kitty kitty!" See?
My tagees are: femaleparadox and well, that's it cuz my sister took everybody else that I know. sigh.
07 September 2007
a regular old fashioned gripe-fest
This story starts a while ago and I can't use specific names (because I'm paranoid and "just in case"). Let's see....how to do this?
Ok in May, my friend Phil (I can use his name) moved back to town. And since we are both musicians, he suggested we join a local band so that we could play good music while we endeavor to teach middle schoolers. I agreed and he said he'd email the director. Around the beginning of August, he called me and said that he was in but that I would have to show up to the first rehearsal and talk to the section leader to find out if there was room for me.
"Her name is Jane Doe" he said, and my head almost exploded.
See, I cannot STAND Jane Doe. I absolutely cannot stand her. I worked with her once for about 2 rehearsals and one concert and I wanted to take my pencil, stab it into my eye, pull out the eyeball and eat it. She is one of those people who is socially awkward, thinks she is far more important than she is, just because she is section leader, and gives out unsolicited advice because she thinks that I am young, don't know anything and also should dedicate my life to nothing but the performance of music. I think there is more to life than copying every piece of music I play so that I can spend my time rehearsing parts just in case I might perform it (as Phil put it, "Just become technically proficient at your instrument and then you can sightread the material!"). She also badgered me for my contact info, acted hurt when I wouldn't give her my phone number (yeah right) nor commit to rehearsing with her groups because I didn't know my schedule and then sent an email out to other players in the area dissecting my playing ability and listing me as an acceptable alternate (although they would continue using the other first).
After a long discussion in which I reminded Phil of the above, he convinced me to just go and check it out and we hung up. 5 minutes later, he called me back and we had the following conversation:
Phil: I just got an email from Jane Doe asking me if I had your contact info and if I knew anything about your previous playing experience and background.
Me: a:AOKrahtutkjahwb;iluapfg89aghylak I HATE THAT WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I can be in this group!
Phil: Come on! Don't let her stop you. Just try it out.
Me: snort. grrr. sigh. ok. I'll try it out.
So we went to the first rehearsal and Jane finally walked in and I walked up to her and said "Hi! I'm supposed to talk to you about whether or not there is room for me!"
"And what do you play?" she asked.
"Kazoo." I thought. What I said was "I play what you play!" and I used my cheeriest tone. The director was standing there and he said "remember, I emailed you about her". And she got all prissy and said "I remember and I sent an email to her friend about her, but I never got a reply." I gave my best innocent what-do-you-do-about-boys shrug and then she looked at me and said in the same hurt and accusing tone "oh! I've worked with you before! You're the one who didn't know her schedule but now you're here."
I said "Well now I know my schedule."
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't I have the RIGHT not to know if I can rehearse during the FIRST SEMESTER THAT I HAVE A REAL JOB? maybe not.
So, she asked me if I could play all the September concerts. I said "yeah, as far I as I know." (apparently this was not a good enough answer because she asked me the same question 3 more times and I finally replied with "well unless someone in my family dies." At which point she started a discourse on her mother. sigh.) And the first couple of rehearsals went by and they went by fine because I didn't have to sit next to her nor really interact with her.
Then there was rehearsal this week. During a bunch of rests I pulled out my phone to text my brother to remind him to do the laundry. I put the phone away and went back to playing. He texted me back and the phone kept buzzing so I pulled it out of my pocket to turn it off and during the next rest, I took it out to reply. At which point, she leaned across another player and asked "Is that an addiction?"
To which I replied: "Do I look like I'm in middle school, lady? Are you my mother or teacher? Where do you get off telling me not to text message during the middle of rehearsal if I want to?!! I AM TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD!! I am not getting paid to be in this group and I can text message, talk or read a book during rehearsal if I choose and the ONLY person who can do anything about it is the DIRECTOR and he isn't saying anything. And you know why? Because I'm only doing it when I'm not playing. And even if I WERE doing it when I was supposed to be playing it wouldn't matter because we're playing a POPS CONCERT which means we are all playing in UNISON and you aren't playing in tune anyway, so what does it matter if I play or not? HUH? HUH? You know what? I quit. Find yourself another player. I don't need this. Come on, Phil, let's go."
Or, at least I WOULD have said it if I weren't such a weenie. (instead I said "no, it's important" and then kept taking out my phone just to irritate her.) If she says ONE thing to me during the next meeting I will not hold myself responsible if I happen to jump over the two players between us and grab her instrument and throw it on the ground and jump up and down on it yelling "take THAT!!"
Author's Note: Please understand that I don't actually wish her harm and I don't actually hate her. She annoys me and I feel sorry for her. I am just blowing off some steam in a relatively anonymous forum so that I don't end up saying something mean in a public one.
Ok in May, my friend Phil (I can use his name) moved back to town. And since we are both musicians, he suggested we join a local band so that we could play good music while we endeavor to teach middle schoolers. I agreed and he said he'd email the director. Around the beginning of August, he called me and said that he was in but that I would have to show up to the first rehearsal and talk to the section leader to find out if there was room for me.
"Her name is Jane Doe" he said, and my head almost exploded.
See, I cannot STAND Jane Doe. I absolutely cannot stand her. I worked with her once for about 2 rehearsals and one concert and I wanted to take my pencil, stab it into my eye, pull out the eyeball and eat it. She is one of those people who is socially awkward, thinks she is far more important than she is, just because she is section leader, and gives out unsolicited advice because she thinks that I am young, don't know anything and also should dedicate my life to nothing but the performance of music. I think there is more to life than copying every piece of music I play so that I can spend my time rehearsing parts just in case I might perform it (as Phil put it, "Just become technically proficient at your instrument and then you can sightread the material!"). She also badgered me for my contact info, acted hurt when I wouldn't give her my phone number (yeah right) nor commit to rehearsing with her groups because I didn't know my schedule and then sent an email out to other players in the area dissecting my playing ability and listing me as an acceptable alternate (although they would continue using the other first).
After a long discussion in which I reminded Phil of the above, he convinced me to just go and check it out and we hung up. 5 minutes later, he called me back and we had the following conversation:
Phil: I just got an email from Jane Doe asking me if I had your contact info and if I knew anything about your previous playing experience and background.
Me: a:AOKrahtutkjahwb;iluapfg89aghylak I HATE THAT WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think I can be in this group!
Phil: Come on! Don't let her stop you. Just try it out.
Me: snort. grrr. sigh. ok. I'll try it out.
So we went to the first rehearsal and Jane finally walked in and I walked up to her and said "Hi! I'm supposed to talk to you about whether or not there is room for me!"
"And what do you play?" she asked.
"Kazoo." I thought. What I said was "I play what you play!" and I used my cheeriest tone. The director was standing there and he said "remember, I emailed you about her". And she got all prissy and said "I remember and I sent an email to her friend about her, but I never got a reply." I gave my best innocent what-do-you-do-about-boys shrug and then she looked at me and said in the same hurt and accusing tone "oh! I've worked with you before! You're the one who didn't know her schedule but now you're here."
I said "Well now I know my schedule."
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't I have the RIGHT not to know if I can rehearse during the FIRST SEMESTER THAT I HAVE A REAL JOB? maybe not.
So, she asked me if I could play all the September concerts. I said "yeah, as far I as I know." (apparently this was not a good enough answer because she asked me the same question 3 more times and I finally replied with "well unless someone in my family dies." At which point she started a discourse on her mother. sigh.) And the first couple of rehearsals went by and they went by fine because I didn't have to sit next to her nor really interact with her.
Then there was rehearsal this week. During a bunch of rests I pulled out my phone to text my brother to remind him to do the laundry. I put the phone away and went back to playing. He texted me back and the phone kept buzzing so I pulled it out of my pocket to turn it off and during the next rest, I took it out to reply. At which point, she leaned across another player and asked "Is that an addiction?"
To which I replied: "Do I look like I'm in middle school, lady? Are you my mother or teacher? Where do you get off telling me not to text message during the middle of rehearsal if I want to?!! I AM TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD!! I am not getting paid to be in this group and I can text message, talk or read a book during rehearsal if I choose and the ONLY person who can do anything about it is the DIRECTOR and he isn't saying anything. And you know why? Because I'm only doing it when I'm not playing. And even if I WERE doing it when I was supposed to be playing it wouldn't matter because we're playing a POPS CONCERT which means we are all playing in UNISON and you aren't playing in tune anyway, so what does it matter if I play or not? HUH? HUH? You know what? I quit. Find yourself another player. I don't need this. Come on, Phil, let's go."
Or, at least I WOULD have said it if I weren't such a weenie. (instead I said "no, it's important" and then kept taking out my phone just to irritate her.) If she says ONE thing to me during the next meeting I will not hold myself responsible if I happen to jump over the two players between us and grab her instrument and throw it on the ground and jump up and down on it yelling "take THAT!!"
Author's Note: Please understand that I don't actually wish her harm and I don't actually hate her. She annoys me and I feel sorry for her. I am just blowing off some steam in a relatively anonymous forum so that I don't end up saying something mean in a public one.
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