So much for a Knight in Shining Armor

Chivalry is dead. Dead. Finito. Tot. You get the point. There is no knight. There is no Shining Armor. No White Horse. No riding off into the sunset. No grand passionate kiss. Nope. It's gone. I guess it must have existed once...I mean, obviously, Disney wouldn't have had such a profitable run if such a thing didn't exist once. The fact that they are clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel (Atlantis, anyone?) just proves my point. There is no chivalry anymore.

You're probably wondering if this tirade has a point. Well, it just so happens that it does. The other day, I was walking Diesel and we decided to go down a new road. We were just walking along. I would smile at people outside their houses, cuz it's only nice! and we were having a lovely walk. I got to a house and there were two largish guys standing outside talking. "Good evening" I said. Actually, that's too formal. I probably said something more like "Hey. How's it going?" They looked at me funny, but I'm used to that. People don't know what to do with a person who says hi for no reason. Ah well. At the next house, there was a St. Bernard standing at the gate. No big deal. It's a big gate. Nothing to worry about.

Until, suddenly, there IS something to worry about. All of a sudden, this ginormous dog nudges the gate open and is racing towards us. Well, naturally, I start screaming. I'm about to get eaten and so is Diesel. This dog looks like it could eat us both and still have room for seconds.
Well, size doesn't impress Diesel. It doesn't matter that this dog is the size of a small island. She is not about to let anybody intimidate her. So the fighting starts. I'm kicking and screaming. Dogs are growling and barking. I yell "CAN YOU GUYS HELP ME!!!!!!" Through the windows of the car that's between us, I see them turn towards me. Whew. help is on its....they go back to talking to each other. "CAN YOU GUYS HELP ME!!!!!" I scream, between kicking at the dog and yelling at it to get away.
Finally it backs off and I chuck my waterbottle at it. This, apparently, is a very scary thing. It races back to the safety of the yard. They two guys FINALLY show up and look at me like, "why were you screaming? there's nothing going on."
NOW, I was FURIOUS. I don't get that way very often, but I was MAD. Unfortunately, when I get mad, my thoughts are very incoherent (or, I should say, more incoherent than usual). Plus, my heart was racing and my dog was trying to get away from me and follow the St. Bernard so that she could give it the beating it deserved.
Very politely, I asked the guy if he wouldn't mind closing the gate so that I could walk by without the fear of Goliath screwing up his courage and deciding to attack again. So, very nonchalantly, the dude picks up this little plastic green egg crate. You know, the type that college kids use for shelves in their dorm rooms. This crate contains 3-4 medium sized rocks. Rocks that would really hurt if you dropped them on your foot, but not boulders. He props this against the gate.

So let me get this straight. You think that an EGG CRATE with ROCKS in it is going to keep a ST. BERNARD in the YARD??!?!?!

Well, we got home safely, and due to my inability to form a reasonable thought, so did those two guys. I have a really good speech in my head for them right now, though.

My story is over now, and my post is almost done, but I would just like to say one thing: I don't care what stupid people say. IF SOMEONE IS SCREAMING, HELP THEM. I don't think anybody would have a problem with that.