Do NOT touch me and DO NOT EVER touch my little brother

Dear Morons Who Were at the El Con Movie Theatre at 1:30 This Afternoon,
Hi! I just wanted to write and see if any of you are aware of exactly how stupid you are. Probably not, so let's go over the what happened, shall we?

First: I was there with my little brother (age 14) to see Pirates 3. You were there, presumably, to see that or another movie currently playing.

Second: We had all decided that we needed snacks before seeing our respective movies, and being on the right side of the theatre, we decided to go to the snack bar on the right side instead of braving the main snack bar at the front. Some arrived before others, and, as most of us do, formed a line to wait.

Third: There was only one register open, and he was moving as quickly as he could (thank you snack bar guy).

Fourth: Another kindly snack bar person came to a second register and said "I can help the next person in line". And, being the pro that she is, she did. And then she helped the next "next person in line".

Fifth: I, being the intelligent person that I am, decided it was silly for us all to wait in one line when there were clearly two registers open, so I decided to form a second line at the newly available register.

Sixth: You all turned in to a bunch of Kindergarteners (my apologies to those who actually ARE kindergarteners, as I am sure YOU would not have behaved in such a childish fashion) and began complaining:
"hey, there's only one line"
"you need to get back in line"
"come on get back in line"
My response: "there are two registers open. I see nothing wrong with this. Let's form another line" (most of which was not finished because of the CRYING going on)

Seventh: Some old idiot decided that it would be ok to grab my brother by the shoulder and force him back in to line whilst saying in THE MOST patronizing tone EVER "come on, just get back in line". He then decided to grab MY shoulder, at which point I had had enough.

"Do NOT touch me" I said (in my best teacher voice) "DO NOT touch me." And, motioning to my little brother, we left said right-side-of-the-theatre-snack-bar and went up front to the main one. Whereat, we purchased our water, red vines and super sour straws.

Eighth: We beat you through the line and made it back to our movie before you made it to yours. My little brother made sure you knew this by raising his snacks to you so that you could see them. And don't think we didn't notice that by that time, you had gone ahead and formed a second line at the other available register.

So, now that we've covered the scenario, here's some friendly advice.

1. Don't be babies. If YOU didn't think of forming a second line, and the person behind you did, instead of being all socialist "everybody must have an equal share", why not admire that person for her great ideas and learn your lesson for next time.

2. DO NOT touch my little brother. Next time, he has my permission to hit you.

3. If you EVER try to touch me, or herd me, or in anyway physically force me to do what you want, I will drop you so fast, you will forget what movie you wanted to see.

Thank you.