The Return of Grace

You may recall that some of you first met Grace about two years ago and then again last year and then again again last year. And all was quiet, and I guess I got comfortable and let my guard down because apparently Grace somehow managed to escape again. Thank goodness she didn't get out last weekend when the whole family was here! I think she escaped sometime early Tuesday morning and since then has created an avalanche of chaos and clumsiness, turning my orderly, predictable and somewhat OCD world completely upside down.

Monday night, I went and bought candy to give out as prizes for the top students in my classes.

Tuesday morning, I carried the candy into work (they were big combo bags of different types of candy), opened the bags and dumped the individual pieces of candy into a giant paper bag. The students earned the candy and all was good. I left the remainder in the bag on the floor in my office.

Wednesday afternoon, after giving out more candy, I reached into the bag myself and was promptly attacked by a GIANT swarm of ants - all red, though some were big and some were little. I quickly dumped the bag into my workroom sink and washed away the ants (although I will say I was quite impressed with the resiliency of those little buggers! They fought well!). As I and McD were drying up the candy we discovered little holes in several of the wrappers. It was so unexpected! I mean, I really didn't think they'd find the candy that quickly.

So, as of Wednesday afternoon I had 6-8 ant bites on my arm. Clumsy? Maybe not, thoughtless? Yes. And that's why I blame Grace.


Also Tuesday evening as I was sitting at home watching tv, I began playing with a giant zit on my left eyebrow. It wasn't like a normal zit, but seemed kind of hard. But I squeezed it and like magic it disappeared! But, nothing came out. And just 10 minutes later, the side of my face around my eye began to swell, making me look as if I had been hit in the head with a baseball bat....or something that leaves a mark when it hits you. Now, this might not seem clumsy, since it involves fine motor control, but still....you'd think that after dealing with acne for over half my life I would have learned by now. Me - 0. Grace 2.

Wednesday morning, I woke up and my face was still swollen, so I wore my hair down and tried to cover it as much as possible. Nobody said anything, so maybe it worked.

Wednesday evening was 8th grade promotion. It was extremely windy ALL day Wednesday and the evening was pretty much the same; dust and pollen were EVERYWHERE!

This morning when I woke up, not only was my eye swollen from the Disappearing Zit, but it was all puffy and weird underneath the eye. Basically it looks like I got beat up by an albino: swollen, but no color. At that point I decided to forget trying to hide it. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, didn't wear any makeup and went. In fact, I was so concerned about it that I wanted my dad to look at it, so I left without even taking a shower! gasp! Whatever. Today was a half day and the teachers were planning on ambushing the students with water guns and balloons as they left for the day, so I knew I'd get wet eventually.

And now, for the Coup de Grâce (interesting how that's spelled, isn't it?):
We did ambush our students and they did get soaking wet (all that pent up frustration from the last 9 months really helped in our warfare and guerilla tactics...), and things went fine. Then McD and I got it in our heads to gang up on another teacher and soak him, which we did. Then another teacher lured us outside into an ambush by 3 other teachers. And we were shooting and ducking and water balloons were flying and then my former 5th grade teacher started aiming water balloons directly at me and I was ducking and dancing away and turned to escape and smacked (top of the head, whereon my sunglasses were perched, first) into an open, metal door. The aforementioned collision caused my sinuses to empty, my ears to pop and I bit through my tongue on the right side (there was blood) and into my cheek on the left (just a blood filled blister there). There isn't a knot on my head, and it doesn't hurt too bad, but it is a little tender.

Here's hoping Grace has gone back into hiding and that she won't make an appearance at tomorrow's district breakfast, which will probably be attended by the Superintendent, et al.