Day 4

Today was good and bad.  I was diligent about getting up and getting ready for church, but we left later than we like to.  We weren't technically late, buuuuuut.....

I had a hard time with my attitude today.  I need to be getting more sleep, because when I don't, all logic and reasoning skills go right out the window and I am reduced to running on emotion.  My inner child comes screaming (literally, screaming) to the fore and I wish to do nothing more than indulge in tantrums all day long.  I let little things that I can usually rationalize away (like: hating my job well, it's money to pay off debt and get a new car; or: I don't get to spend enough time with Paul well, he's in school and we're working hard to create a better life for ourselves and things will be better and easier in a few years; etc) overwhelm me until I can see only the problem and no solutions.  Church usually helps a LOT with this situation, and it certainly did today, but I still felt overwhelmed and cranky for most of the day.

We had a good afternoon at Grandma and Papa's house, just hanging out with the family.  B&J came over and it was a lot of fun to play with Lil' J.  Getting excited to meet Lil' J#2!  It was a good family afternoon.  We came home  a little earlier than usual, but we wanted to break the not-sleeping cycle.  I finished up some chores and Paul did homework.  And then, wonder of wonders!  I actually got to PRACTICE my HORN!  I can't believe it.  It felt really good to play and even though I only played for about 25 minutes, it was just a really nice session.  I'd forgotten how much I miss really playing.  I think I'll make it a regular habit again.  And, who knows?  Once I find a job with a better schedule, maybe I'll be able to join a community band or orchestra.  That would be a lot of fun.  :-)

I have an 8 am meeting tomorrow for work.  blech. I'm supposing it's all good news and policy updates, but I really do not want to fight 7 am traffic to find out. Oh! I almost forgot!  I have applied for a bunch of secretarial jobs at the Community College down here (better hours, better pay, less traffic) and some of them closed on Friday (some next Friday), so I am hoping and praying to begin receiving callbacks tomorrow.  Pray for that, please?  Our busy schedule is really getting to us both.

Time for bed soon.  Planning on getting there on time tonight and really feeling better tomorrow.  Happy Sunday!