Here's the view from my window:
(picture taken at 9:30 pm)
In the upper left-hand, outside corner of my window there is a spider-web, where-in lives a spider. His name is George. I am afraid of George, but we have an agreement, whereby he will stay on his side of the window and I will stay on mine. This prevents both of us from dying horrible, painful, terrifying deaths. Currently, George is not home. (please note the lack of spider in this photo. don't be fooled by the large white spots; those are just left-overs.)
This worries me. Has George broken the agreement? Is he currently in my room, figuring out the best time, place and manner in which to kill, dismember and then carry me home for his family to eat? I think that this is likely.When I discovered that George was no longer home, I began thinking up battle strategies. I brought 4 pairs of shoes with me. Two pairs are high heels. They are strategically placed about the bedroom so that at any moment all I need to do is reach out and I will have my weapon ready to go. Now, granted, high heels are not ideal in a battle such as this, but one makes do with what one has. I also have a rather large dictionary with me, so hopefully that will make up for any lack in the shoe-weapon department.
Ok, George. Bring it on.
Its like those movies where the commando guy has guns hidden in every conceivable place in his house. Then when the bad guys think they have the upperhand because he is sitting on the toilet out comes a sawed off shotgun from the toilet paper dispenser. Bad guy blood bath follows soon afterward.
ReplyDeleteThere goes Phillip talking about going commando again!! George will have a hey day with you man!!
ReplyDeleteJacque, first it's birds, now it's spiders... remind me not to make you mad a me.
Thanks for keeping us updated!!
You don't suppose George has been in touch with the relatives of the many-legged-beast that we unceremoniously washed down the drain, do ya? If so, one of two things are certain:
ReplyDelete1. George has found new digs. No sense messin' with a bad mutha such as yourself. Peace, outa he'ah. Go out! Dance! Click your heels! Drink many pints of beer!
or (and probably more likely given the amount of squealing that accompanied said washing)
2. George is waiting. Go out! Dance! Click your heels! Drink many pints of beer! (No sense going out sober. Plus, the beer could have some antidotal effect for the impending doom. At the very least, it'll give you a headache and you'll at least be able to look forward to the impending doom!) Who's yo' mutha now?
Aw, Phillip, how cute! I didn't know you and Robert still played cops and robbers! :)
ReplyDeleteJacq, I'm inclined to be on the side of poor George in this one. I suspect that he's simply vacated the premises, because everyone knows it's rude to stay in your timeshare after the next owners show up!
Or maybe George is actually Georgina, and she's off somewhere having babies.....LOTS of babies.....
Sweet dreams, lil Sis! bwahahahahaaaa....