Ok, to be fair, I don't know if you were female. In fact I don't know much of anything about you. I don't know if you were a "they" or just a "you". I just thought the line sounded good.
I DO know that you are slimy, cowardly little yellow-bellied chickens; morons too afraid of living responsibily and following the laws put down by our nation. You obviously are afraid of failure, so rather than trying to accomplish something productive, you make your way through life, taking what others have worked hard to gain, and destroying what you cannot take.
I certainly hope that the momentary high you receieved off of taking my things was worth it. I hope that the little bit of money you got for my stuff was enough so that you could go out and buy drugs and get your momentary fix. Too bad you will never know true happiness, nor the pride in accomplishing something good and decent.
But, I'm still curious about a few things:
1. Why did you move my brother's Army helmet from the back office to the living room. Were you playing kickball?
2. Why did you sort through my movies and take such things as Beauty and the Beast, Bill Cosby and TWO empty cases, but leave behind such things as The Man from Snowy River and Ocean's Eleven? Wouldn't you have made more money and taken less time if you had just taken everything?
3. Why didn't you take the almost $500 worth of box sets in the forms of Alias, The Pretender, etc?
4. Why did you smash the TV? Was it too heavy for your puny arms?
5. Why did you move the cheese knife from the kitchen into the chair in the living room?
6. Why didn't you take the following items: the DVD player, the modem and the wireless router?
Wow. In looking back on it, it seems you weren't even very good theives.
Yes, you took my stuff. Yes, you got away with it. Congratulations to you. Enjoy your 15 minutes. I, on the other hand, will continue to live my life responsibily. I will continue to work and play to the utmost and I will buy more movies, another computer, and my brother will probably buy another PS2. You will not destroy our lives.
I suppose we are assuming the bandits were female because of certain items taken???? Who knows, perhaps so. Whatever the case it totally sucks. I'm really sorry. Give me a call if you need to vent anymore.
ReplyDeleteSucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks. But your attitude totally rocks and go-girl-go, rah-rah-rah, and all that jazz.
ReplyDeleteP.S. You know I'm right about Officer Cutey.
yes, but KNOWING you're right and DOING something about it are two very different things.
ReplyDeleteWhat about chocolate chip cookies? Maybe that would work. It's pretty hard to screw those up.
And a nice girly, flowery thank-you card......
Oh. And I'm calling him Jarod. :-)
Oh, and I wasn't assuming they were female because of what they took. Actually I wasn't terribly concerned about the gender of the morons who robbed me. I just used that quote because it's from Disney's Robin Hood right before Robin and Little John (dressed as female fortune tellers) rob Prince John. The conversation goes something like this:
ReplyDeletePrince John: Fortune Tellers! How droll. Stop the coach.
Hiss: Sir, they may be bandits!
P.J.: Oh Poppycock! FEMALE bandits?! What next?
And the reason I used this quote is because for some reason right after I got home and found my stuff missing, the part of the movie after that started playing in my head. You know, the part where they are racing away, Hiss comes out of the basket and PJ says "I've been robbed."
So yeah. That's why.