Halfway

Where HAS the time gone? It's hard to believe I'm halfway to my goal.  I'm simultaneously relieved that I have more time for improvement and bummed out because I thought I'd be further along with the "ingrainedness" of the habits by now.  What can I say? I'm a perfectionist. It may will never be good enough. I just will have to keep getting better.

My sweet cousin emailed me today to tell me that she thinks I'm being too hard on myself.  She was very encouraging in reminding me that marriage is a partnership and I shouldn't try to take everything on myself.  And she is very right.  But I want to make it clear: this new venture into diligence is not due to any lack in my husband, nor is it at his behest.  Indeed, he is the best person I know and he is an amazing provider and my best friend.  This Search for Diligence is simply because I know that God expects my best out of me. My Best. Not my "I can do this easily and without effort", not my "I kind of got that done".  My best.  Whether it's at work or in worship or while I'm driving or grocery shopping.  God expects me to be my best and do my best and that is what matters.  These 21 days are just a way to start being conscious of doing that.  To make me think about what I do, but to be better than my human nature. To make sure that I always put Paul and our family first and don't allow little things to slide. I want to be able to teach my children good and life-long habits and that will be easier to do if they are also my habits.  This isn't my way of complaining or having a pity party.  This is just accountability.

I've been reflecting a lot today.  As a teacher, you learn to examine and review and reflect on what you're doing and it's efficacy.  You learn to monitor student reactions and input, review this information and use it to be a more effective teacher the next time you approach that lesson (whether it's doing things exactly the same or changing things up a bit). This "monitoring and adjusting" of lesson plans is so integral to being a teacher that, eventually, you learn to do it not only at the end of the lesson or day, but on the fly.  You learn to adjust course midstream.  I find it an invaluable tool; one that I use every day (and in fact, I might not be able to turn it off!), it seems, so naturally I am applying it to this endeavor.

I have been reflecting on how well I'm doing with being diligent (fair to middling. Not stellar) and if/how I need to change things to be more diligent - or, perhaps, better encourage myself in being diligent. A couple of things have come to mind. I need to revise the current plan and then add to it.

First, the revisions:
I'm taking the alarm clock thing off the list.  That's it.  No more alarm clock goal.  The reason is that it's a pointless goal if I meet the other goal of staying awake after Paul leaves. And it just muddies up the accounting.  Also, I'm going to change my post format somewhat.  I'll still talk about my day, mood, etc, but at the end I'm going to add a checklist.  I like lists.  In fact, I might even LOVE lists.  So this really is a good thing!

Now, the additions:
I need to start planning out my morning chores.  Currently I'm just doing the basics...the maintenance chores, if you will...fold laundry, do the dishes, straighten up the living room.  You know, just enough to keep the house habitable.  Which, don't get me wrong, is a HUGE step forward for me. It's a great blessing to have all those things done; to not fret about them while I'm at "work" not doing anything. But, more needs to happen. I need to dust. Vacuum. Go through things. I'm going to take a page from my sister and divide the house into sections and do one section each day.  If I do just a little bit each day, but do it WELL, it won't be so overwhelming.  And, that way, over the course of a week, the whole house is clean.  Then, maybe my day off can be devoted to the really BIG projects.  Like cleaning out the garage.  Or mowing the yard.  Or going to the park and having a picnic.

So, step 1, make a daily chore list and (here's the kicker) stick to it. I am still struggling with the "the top of the fridge doesn't need to be washed because nobody can see it" mentality. In reality, though, keeping things like that done isn't hard, doesn't take too much time and is actually healthier.  Ya know?

Ok, make a chore chart. check.

Next. While I'm in the process of showing gratitude to the Lord by taking care of the things with which He has blessed us, I also need to be caring for my body and spirit. I need to show my gratitude for my health by maintaining it and improving it.  I need to be eating the right things (fewer refined foods, fewer carbs, more protein and fiber) and I need to exercise.  I found some low-impact yoga-style exercises (great for my genetically defective knees!) and I want to start doing them 3-4 times per week. I should also be getting fresh air and now is the perfect time for early morning walks. Which, incidentally, will greatly benefit the dogs, who have been neglected of late (though, they are still extremely spoiled!).  

Ok, daily chores and daily exercise. check and check. I'm sensing more list making on the horizon!

I also need to be diligent aobut my spiritual growth. Of course we go to church every Sunday and Bible Study every Wednesday, but it's not like those are the only days I'm alive. It's not like Satan only attacks on Sundays and Wednesdays. I need to be studying and memorizing and learning scriptures so that they are on the tip of my tongue and in my heart all the time.  So I can call them up when I need them. We read our Bible and pray every night before bed, but I feel like I need to start my day with time with the Lord. I need that time to remember my priorities. I've noticed that when I take the time to read the Bible and meditate upon it and pray, my day is better. It's easier for me to treat people as fellow children of God. My patience is stronger and I'm just nicer. So why is it so easy not to do this?

So, to sum up: daily chores, daily exercise, and daily Bible study and prayer. check, check and check. 

Overall, I feel pretty good about this.  I'm making progress and feeling more and more peaceful about the world around me. I'm still struggling with my inherent laziness, but I think that will be a lifetime struggle.